As most of you may have realized by now, I am married but my husband and I live in different countries. We will be married for 3 years next March, which is a considerable amount of time, come to think of it, especially when spent apart. For that reason, I am asked the same question quite often: “how do you guys make it work?. The answer is not simple and sometimes I just feel that we just do… Most of it is played by ear and every day is a learning curve and although I don’t think there is a formula (after all, everyone is different), I have made a list of tips and ideas on how we make it work.
- Trust – There needs to be trust at all times but I guess this goes without saying.
- Time – You need to make time every day to check up on your loved one, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. It’s important to know they are still there and that they too want to know that you’re there too. Plus with the internet bringing all of us closer there really is no excuse not to call. Skype is free, after all.
- Meeting – Plan your meetings in advance, as often as possible, preferably in interesting places you can explore together. I live in a small uninteresting place so for that reason I don’t expect him to come over and visit me here as there is nothing too exciting for us to do. For that reason we prefer to prolong our honey moon and spend good quality time together when we can in new places.
- Until next time – In my experience, one of the worst things that can happen is to say goodbye without knowing when we will see each other again. Travelling isn’t cheap but having an idea of when you will be able to meet next helps you keep focused on that goal instead of despairing that you won’t see each other ever again.
- Talk – About your plans for your next meeting, talk about your day, your new favourite film… Sharing ideas and learning new interests is the best fuel for relationships, more so if all you can do is… talk.
- Love – Saying ‘I love you’ doesn’t cost a thing and you can say it as many times as you want. Don’t be a cheapskate with your love and say it often… and mean it!
- Conflict – Avoid arguing on the internet. It can be hard to hold your tongue when you’re unhappy but when you can’t talk face to face, misunderstanding is bound to happen… and what started as a drop will turn into an ocean.
These are the ideas I have learned in these last few years. How about you? Are you in a long distance relationship? What are your suggestions?