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Mark Wilson, author of The Secret Of How To Be Happy

May 12, 2014


Mark Wilson wrote his book after his very own search for happiness. Through many trials and errors, he found his secret and he is eager to share it with the rest of us.

Mark posits that happiness can be reached through the law of attraction and all you need to do is to learn how to use it. Mark provides many insights into this, that even got me thinking “Of course! How didn’t I realize this before?”. Some things are as simple as that, we just tend to over look them, for that same reason, I suppose.

It is written in a way that feels like Mark is a friend telling you his story and it makes for a very pleasant reading.

It is not promised that all your dreams will come true just by reading the book, there are no miracles! But it will help you become aware and build your inner tools that you need to achieve your inner happiness goals.

A very important point that resonated with me quite strongly (and I’ve mentioned this quite a few times on here) is that happiness is not attainable by accumulating material goods. So we better stop hoping that amazing pair of Louboutins that costs almost a month’s salary will finally make you happy because it won’t. Save your pennies and your credit card and get Mark’s book instead. A much smaller investment but with much higher dividends!

I asked Mark a few questions about his book and his ideas. Enjoy!

The Secret of How to be Happy w border

1 -what prompted you to write this book?

Haha, desperation! A couple of years ago my life wasn’t in a great place and I certainly wasn’t happy. I’d just moved to a new town on my own, my social life wasn’t satisfying, my career seemed to have stalled, and I’d been single for ages. Plus, to make matters worse, I had anxiety issues and low self-esteem and over the years I’d come to almost expect that ‘things’ weren’t ever going to go right for me.

I’d really tried to help myself, too!

I’d read so many books about the law of attraction and employed all the techniques authors such as Rhonda Byrne advise their readers to try to attract positivity into my life but it just wasn’t working for me. The funny thing was, I always kind of intuitively felt that the law of attraction was a very real thing and that it was the key to my happiness. The concept of the law of attraction certainly resonated on some level with me, I just couldn’t get it to work for me.

Then one day I had a genuine epiphany moment.

I realised that I’d been trying very hard to consciously attract nice things to me, whereas what I (or anyone else) actually needed to do was subconsciously change the way I was thinking and feeling. Once you can subconsciously think and feel positive, that’s when the law of attraction actually kicks in automatically and amazing things start to happen naturally to change your life for the better.

Of course, the trick is to train your subconscious thoughts and feelings into being more positive. None of the books I read told me this, and it was only when I’d figured out how to change my subconscious feelings for the better that I knew I had a great self-help book that would help others to improve their lives.
2- Besides reading your book, what else would you recommend to anyone trying to improve their wellbeing?

Well, my book contains all the information you need to attract more happiness into your life, but I think the most important single mindset is to take responsibility of your own wellbeing and then regard it as an ongoing longer term issue rather than a quick fix. That’s why I’ve set my readers’ expectations at a 28-day happiness programme, although in reality I’ve found that most people will start to noticeably feel happier after only a few days.

But naturally there are other things that anyone can do to improve their wellbeing.

Years ago I suffered from occasional bouts of mild depression, and during these phases I discovered that consciously setting myself just one small attainable goal each day helped my state of mind immeasurably, so I’d recommend doing this every day if possible whether you’re depressed or not.

A typical goal would be different for everyone, but the key is to make it significant but simple; so for example it may be to go to the gym, or to clean the house. Or give some old unwanted clothes to charity, Sara?! Or it may be as simple as going for a five-minute walk, or phoning a friend to see how they are.

The important thing is to consciously set yourself one small attainable goal each day…and then do it. What happens when you do this is that at the end of each day you’ll naturally and subconsciously feel a small amount of satisfaction for achieving your target, even if your target was something simple.

After a few days you’ll find that you’ll almost magically feel better, and more motivated to set higher targets for yourself too, which is a great start to any kind of self-improvement journey.

I say ‘magically’ there, but of course this is the law of attraction in action! For every day you achieve your target, your subconscious mind feels more and more satisfied…and that attracts more and more satisfaction into your life, which then improves your wellbeing even more!
3 – How do you think we sabotage ourselves in the pursuit of happiness?

This really puzzled me early on in my own personal journey, because feeling happy is such a beneficial state of mind, and yet almost everyone these days finds it difficult to ‘be happy’.

Clearly we do sabotage our own pursuit of happiness, and this seems to be a really counter-intuitive self-destructive thing to do…until you accept that we have a conscious mind and a subconscious mind, and then understand how the two function (and dysfunction!) together.

You see, while our conscious mind enables us to be self-aware (that is, make decisions, plan ahead and enjoy creative thoughts), our subconscious mind controls all our automatic functions (our breathing, heartbeat, blinking, blushing, sweating and much more) for as long as we’re alive whether we’re awake or asleep.

But it’s very difficult to change the way our subconscious mind performs its job; we can’t just consciously decide to be happy because being happy is a function of our subconscious mind, and our conscious mind can’t override what our subconscious mind is doing – as people who blush or sweat too much will understand.

So our subconscious mind – that part of us that interacts so powerfully with the law of attraction – is actually more concerned with just keeping us alive rather than attracting a gold-plated sports car and a 50-room mansion into our lives. And because, by our subconscious mind’s standards, it’s done a pretty good job for us so far (well, we’re all still alive aren’t we?) then it actually resists you when you try to do something it deems as being ‘new’ or ‘different’.

This is why it’s so hard to stick to a New Year’s resolution. Even if it’s good for you, your subconscious mind is suspicious of anything that threatens that comfortable status quo it has over-cautiously nurtured for you since you were born, and it will therefore resist unless you consciously persevere until your resolution eventually becomes a subconscious habit.

Thankfully, I’ve found that there are easy ways to create very beneficial subconscious habits that will attract happiness into your life!

4- What are you currently working on? Can you lift the veil a little?

I’ve mentioned the subject of my next book a few times to you today, and it’s a result of the amazing research I’ve continued since writing ‘Happy’.

My next book is called (at the moment) ‘The Power of the Subconscious Mind’, and I really think this book will help people to fulfil their potential and enjoy a quality of life that they could previously only have dreamed of.

The more I learn about the subconscious mind, the more I’m in complete awe about what a supreme asset we all have, and yet we all take it for granted.

But if we learned how to use our brain properly, we could revolutionise our lives. At the moment, for most people, it’s like having an Aston Martin Vantage and then never getting it out of first gear.

What a waste! I want to show people how to hit fourth or fifth gear! Or higher!

Thank you Mark for your time and for sharing your experiences with us. “The Secret of How to be Happy”is available on Amazon for Kindle.


How to improve your life

October 25, 2013

Not that I would want to turn this into a fitness or dieting blog but the fact is that I’m not happy with my body and the way it’s been functioning. When I lived in Lisbon 3 and a half years ago I walked everywhere. Walking was not only necessary to get to places but also a pleasure. I lived in a very central area so walking around was something I did often, to meet with friends, go shopping, etc.  I also walked home from the office every day, and that equated to at least 2 miles. I also went dancing almost every weekend, which can be a workout in itself. I ate well and didn’t really have to deprive myself of anything.

Then I moved to England. I was told by a few friends that I would most likely gain weight and at the time I didn’t believe them. Nonsense! I thought. Well, turns out that they were right. Not only I gained weight (about 1 stone of it) but most importantly I lost any semblance of fitness I had and trust me, it wasn’t a lot. I don’t think my diet has changed all that much – chips and chocolates are everywhere in this country but I rarely touch them as I’m not that fussed. What changed was that I stopped walking.

I live in a small rural town and to be honest, there isn’t much to see. By the time I leave work at 5 the only places that are open are the pubs, the 24 hour supermarket and not much else. There are nice countryside trails to explore but to do it you have to drive there. As you know, I don’t own a car and I wouldn’t do it on my own or after dark anyway. So as you see, not a lot of places to walk around (not to mention that the cold here is a real bitch during most of the year!). Walking was once an enjoyable experience and now it’s just boring.

So I am now trying to lose weight (don’t tell me that I am not fat, I know I am not, I just want to lose what I gained and feel myself again) and get back into feeling fitter and more energetic. I don’t appreciate that when I finally spend a day walking somewhere, all I want to do is fall asleep and it takes me a day to recover.

Recently I felt so much stress I felt like running to release it but decided against it due to not having the proper footwear (unbelievable, right?). You see, I had a bad experience running with the wrong shoes a few years ago – my knees were hurting for 2 weeks and that’s not good as once the knees go you’re screwed for the rest of your life. It was a real shame as going out running along the river with Caroline was extremely enjoyable!

Last week I decided to not buy another pair of heels and invest in a decent pair of running shoes. I went to the local Sports Direct shop (one of the few shops that stays open after 5) and bought myself these Adidas Kanadia babies. I love them and I’m going to try running once again. Wish me luck!


How to keep your motivation when times are hard

October 16, 2013

Photo by Oh La Lali

I used to be an artist.

For a few years I worked as an illustrator and colourist and at the same time, worked part time jobs at call centres to supplement my income. Then I had the perfect job for about 2 years – I was working as a colourist, doing projects for comic books and advertising storyboards. It came to an end when I got fed up with being underpaid, overworked and undervalued so I took a 9-5 job in a financial services company.

The work wasn’t particularly interesting for an artistic person such as myself but the pay was decent and they treat their employees very well (annual ski trips, anyone?). It was ok for a couple of years but then it started becoming hard to get up go to work every morning. I decided I needed to change my life and pursue other options. The opportunity came soon after I made that decision and I was offered a job abroad, still within the same company.

While everything was new I was doing fairly well but soon I started feeling dissatisfied once again with my work life. I needed to do something that I enjoyed as well as more creative, in order to be happy. But what could I do? I didn’t want to go back to being a freelance illustrator (I honestly wouldn’t know where to start) nor did I feel I had any other job worthy skills besides call centre agent or admin, which would be more of the same of what I was doing already.

Around the same time I decided to start blogging again, to at least have some creative outlet in my life. Blogging about personal style and travel really kept my sanity and I took it seriously: I started skipping going to the pub with my friends to stay in and practise my writing or edit photos. One day it dawned on me that I could actually do this for a living and that would be perfect, because I loved it. So I started paying more attention to Social Media and Marketing websites and attended a few blogging seminars.

At the same time I started applying for Marketing related jobs but wasn’t having much luck as besides my own blog, I didn’t have any business experience in the area. But I didn’t give up. After all, happiness and fulfilment were at stake – I started having work related anxiety issues and depression and didn’t want to live like that for the rest of my life.

So I carried on blogging, networking and soaking up as much information as I could. After applying for numerous jobs that I didn’t get, I decided to go directly to the right people, to let them know how passionate I am about blogging, social media and how much I wanted to learn. All the preparation I made on my spare time paid off as I was given the opportunity to do an internship within the Marketing department, developing my own blog project (and a pay rise too!). I currently have a job that I enjoy, learn a lot every day and I am on my way to developing a career and a future – and this is only the beginning!

I just told you my story. If you feel you are in the same position I was in, read on as I will tell you a few things I have learned that might help getting you through a slump.

  • Despite what we might think the Universe can actually conspire in your favour. Many times you may get disappointed because you didn’t get something only to realize later that you had something better coming your way after all. Patience is key.
  • That doesn’t mean sitting back and waiting for things to happen. Hard work is necessary at all times.
  • If you really are passionate about something, you have an advantage over people who do a job just because they have to. Experts are people who are passionate about something and try to learn as much as possible about it.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk to people and let them know your worth. Sometimes there is no other way of getting on their radar. Unfortunately, sitting quietly in a corner waiting to get noticed doesn’t usually work, except in Hollywood films.
  • Have a clear objective of what you want to do in your life. Saying ‘I want to do something different’ isn’t enough. Decide what you want and go get it!
  • Self-motivation is extremely important and don’t expect to get it from other people as most will not understand why you are not going out for drinks with them, until they actually see you progressing. In my case, not wanting to be depressed was a huge motivation (plus the prospect of having a real career I enjoyed).
  • Quite often we are actually better than we think we are. Trust your instincts and don’t let self-doubt get in the way.
  • And most importantly: never give up!

What about you, do you have a similar story? If you have any other advice, leave me a comment as I want to know!


This article was also featured in Project Eve – Inspiring Women Reinventing their Careers. Yay!