Browsing Tag

self image


Gaining weight – how to deal with it?

May 10, 2015

It’s official. I’ve been gaining weight. Not just gaining weight, but my body shape has been changing. There can be a lot of reasons for this but I’m sure that getting older and the fact that I’m going to be 38 this year might have something to do with this.

I’m trying to figure out what I should do about it. I know what everyone says: “You’re not fat, shut up, get out of there, etc etc”. While me saying I’m fat might be an insult to obese people, the reality is, I can feel and see my own body changing. While I haven’t gained that much weight, I can see the contrast when I look at myself in the mirror: my face seems rounder and different. My clothes also don’t fit the same way either – my waist has expanded and some skirts now almost cut me in half, not to mention the arm fat, that mean that some sleeves now feel all too snug, when they don’t stop fitting at all.

Continue Reading…



June 25, 2014


There’s something that’s been on my mind lately. It’s about honesty, as a person and as an artist. I feel like I am not able to be entirely honest, for fear of criticism, misunderstanding, fitting in a certain definition of blogger, you name it.

It can be a little bit frustrating, as you may well imagine. I am interested in experimenting with self image, it’s part of my creativity (I’ve mentioned this before). These days I am feeling more adventurous. Possibly because I got tired of playing “safe” all the time, maybe because I’m getting tired of doing the same old thing and as I’ve said before, I want/need change. I need to experiment more and be more creative. I don’t want to carry on feeling stale. I like modifying my image by exploring the way I dress, but I would like to go beyond that. Not as far as Orlan, who constantly changed her appearance through cosmetic surgery, but at least look into different facets of my psyche by creating different looks using makeup, accessories, you name it.

Here are some weird ass photos I did, using some items I had lying around the house. I will probably be making more of this type of thing in the future. I hope that at least some of my regular readers will like this. You can’t always please everyone so I thought I might as well just please myself! It’s a challenge, and it would be great to embark on it with all you guys!




Gems – (similar) Party Eyes, Lipstick from the Kate Moss collection for Rimmel, Black Smokey eye crayon from the Body Shop, Blusher from H&M


Blogging and self-confidence

June 10, 2014


True beauty is something that attacks, overpowers, robs, and finally destroys.

-Yukio Mishima

I don’t think I will be the only blogger to say that blogging has helped with their self confidence. You see, I never saw myself as pretty or beautiful or really attractive, if I’m honest. In fact, it was only in recent years that I became a little more at ease with the way I look. I barely own any photos from when I was a teenager, as I destroyed them – I didn’t like the ugly duckling staring back at me and didn’t recognize myself in them at all.

Since I started blogging on Livejournal back in 2002 or so, and because I had a digital camera, I started experimenting a lot more with photography, particularly self portraits. I started having my photo taken a lot more often as well, as a few years later I started posting the good old outfit photos, which also helped attain some easiness in front of the camera. These days it’s a lot simpler, with the rise of the selfie and the availability of smartphones, that can take better snaps than a lot of proper cameras…




Looking at oneself in a photograph, and having the opportunity to try different angles over and over again, can be considered obsessive or self absorbed. I would say yes, but also argue that if it helps people get over their hangups and feel more beautiful and confident, it can’t be such a bad thing altogether.

Thanks to digital cameras and blogging, I was able to become more self aware as well as able to manipulate and control my own image. It did (and still does) help me in terms of questioning my looks. Who do I want to be (or look like) on a particular day, can be later revisited and analysed, for further development.

I have a somewhat theatrical approach to the way I dress and as such, see it as a creative process. I’ve been doing the same thing for a while now and after some soul searching (been doing a lot of that recently), I have decided I want to take it beyond the daily outfit experience. I want to experiment not only with the clothes I wear to go to work but also invent other more extreme looks, play with makeup and just push the envelope further – question what beauty is, my self image and generally play with my appearance. In a way, be my own canvas.



How about you? Has blogging helped with your self confidence? How do you treat your self-image?